I'm Just Gettin' Online For A Minute

I got up this morning, but haven't yet dressed.
My dishes aren't done, and my house is a mess.
Have not done my work, have not fed the cat,
Just on line for a second, and popped in to "chat".

I used to watch TV, I used to cook Mex,
I think I remember...yeah, I used to have sex!
I used to walk upright, now roll on my chair,
Tho' it causes the neighborhood children to stare.

I wanted to travel around on the Net,
Been too busy chatting to get on there yet.
I wanted to spreadsheet, word process, or paint,
But gettin' on with them is just what I ain't!

So much to learn and I wanted to but
I'm too busy chatting and splitting a gut,
Talkin' and listenin'...is it such a sin?
Oh, gawd, what a fix I have got myself in!

Then up pops a name on my neat Buddy List,
Think I'll go out and give HIS tail a twist!
And in comes an IM from some weirdo guy
I cuss 'im, insult 'im, and tell him "bye bye".

Is there a 12 step, support group, or such?
For those of us folks who chat on too much?
If there was a group, I would like it just fine,
Except that it prob'ly would be here online!

Are there therapists here? I think that I saw some
Its got me, its got me, its power is AWESOME.
It's my new computer, I've had it one week,
Now I look in the mirror and I see a "geek".

Or maybe a geekess, but I see the signs,
Please help me, please help me, please get me offline!
Or better, please Email a burger and fries,
'Cause I'm staying ONLINE, at least 'til I die!!
(Shared in 1997 by one of my online friends whose name I don't know.)